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  • Purva Grover

Why do we meet the people, we do?

Often, we’re told that people come into our lives for a reason and likewise leave for a reason as well — the latter is, of course, harder to fathom. Their exits may be for reasons we can’t fight, death or for reasons we find unreasonable, a bruised ego. But, there’s a pattern waiting to be observed. I recall having read a letter (more like a handy checklist to refer to when in confusion) that an ex-professor wrote to her daughters. I quote — ‘What’s not meant to be...has its own way of getting out of your life.’ In those words, I felt lay the wisdom to living. Broadly speaking, it lies in the fact that we need to accept what life gives us and remember that everything is part of a bigger puzzle, a bigger plan — which of course, is easier said than done. For, the question looms large, why do we meet the people, we do, and then why do they leave? Well, it does require of us to wear a philosopher's hat.

Say, there is a work colleague, who enters your life with rage and anger, teaching you of patience and self-control. Or a teacher you adore, who makes you fall in love with a subject as blah as Mathematics or Geography. Or a friend without whom you think you can’t live but learn that you actually could. Or a neighbour, who is the favourite walking partner and helps you lose some extra inches. And then, they all 'exit' for reasons unbeknown.

Treat this experience as an exit interview — what did you learn from the person when he or she was present in your life, likewise what is it that you are going to miss with the person’s absence? You will be surprised that how over time you’d begin to understand how each individual you met up with came with a purpose and left as soon as it was taken care of, irrespective of the intent of the purpose. Of course, the eternal optimist in me labels the same as serendipity — the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

In short, I believe there is no coincidence. People come into our lives when we’re ready to have them, not a moment sooner or later. They’re sent to challenge us, calm us down, teach us something or stir different emotions in us. To a certain extent, they help us reach that hidden t-shirt in our wardrobe. I'll try to make it simpler to understand. In our daily lives, when we rummage through our wardrobes deciding what to wear we pick a shirt or a dress, which is on the top of the pile or doesn’t require ironing. But, lost in the wardrobe is also a piece of clothing, which is maybe out of style, was bought at a sale or was a gift. What would lead us to reach for the lost piece of clothing? A trigger that suggests we 'dress up our lives,' differently i.e. discover parts of our personalities, we didn’t know exist.

Yes, entries and exits work so. Of course, a broken heart can't find solace in the words — When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But, in retrospect, we can all train ourselves to sing the song – People come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime. As for me, at this very moment, I have decided to open my arms to people I am destined to meet. I can only hope you do too.

This piece was first published in Khaleej Times.


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© 2018 by PURVA GROVER